05/30/25
feeling: actually decent.
watching: Chase Bridges
latest obsession: Lorekeeper ARPGs
last song played: Anyway You Want Me by Brockhampton
current weather: partiallly sunny, 67°F
i'm... alive. i think taking a huge social media break has been helping. i'm sorry i've been dead. once classes ended it was my birthday and then i tiered for like two weeks straight. T87 MMJ WORLD LINK THO! let's fucking go. i'm really proud of myself since ttbs was Really Hard on my mental and this ... wasnt? it was hard at points but i still took care of myself in all the ways needed. i called my friends. i showered. i ate. i took my meds. I Was Actually A Human. yeah i was stressed but not like last time. and that's what matters.
we've been cleaning out my grandma's house. it's... hard but it's also nice. seeing all her stuff. all the pictures of everyone she loved.
she loved me a lot.
and i wish i could tell her i love her again.
but i think she knows.
i think she's still here - in some ways. she comes and visits. she chimes our cuckoo clock at the hour when it's just my mom and i - it doesn't have batteries in it. it shouldn't work, but it does anyway. she came and visited for the first time in awhile the other week. my mama needed it. i did too. but cleaning her house has been ... cathartic. it's for her, though, too.
i've been drawing a lot for this lorekeeper arpg. it's 21+ so i won't talk about it too much but oughghh i'm having so much fun designing my ocs. SPEAKING OF!!!!!! OCS AND ART!!! ARTFIGHT IN LIKE A MONTH!!!!! here's my artfight.... i'll link it again in june + july :D i'll also make a post on the neocities tl about it when it starts to get closer bc omg come follow me!! come attack me i'll do my absolute best to attack back !! and if i don't get to you this year, you're FIRST on my priority for next year >:D
okay i think that's it even tho it's been a whole month w/ no update. Um. sorry LOL i've been pjsk'ing and art'ing and doing things instead of writing fanfiction which is what i'm Supposed to be doing LOL. :CatDead:
